Prior to my arrival and the long journey to Delhi, I was struggling financially, mentally and spiritually. I had not the means to make a trip across the earth happen. I lacked the mental strength to find a way, to pull a rabbit out of a hat, to make it happen. My spirit was broken because I was beginning to feel like a wandering soul without purpose upon the face of the earth. All I knew is my friend wanted me at his wedding in Delhi. I knew more than anything on earth I wanted to be there. It just didn't seem like it was going to happen. The sand was running out of the top chamber to make it happen. Right before I was about to inform my friend that it was unlikely that I could make the trip happen, he emailed me my itinerary; to Delhi and back. My heart dropped. It was then that I knew magic was real.
The universe (and my brother/friend) conspired to make this trip happen, because I wasn't able to do as much as I would have liked to make it happen. So here I am a few weeks out from the trip, trying to think of how everything was going to work out. The farthest I had been from "home" prior to this, was Istanbul, Turkey. That is both physically and spiritually. Being far from home physically is one thing, but spiritually, is a whole different type of distance. India was much farther than that. It was an unknown unlike any other that I was presented with. I was excited, I was scared, I was unsure, but I was sure...
Sunday morning came and I knew I had to be in Santa Fe by 1pm to catch the train. I was up late, no clean clothes, house and life were a mess. At this point I almost didn't want to go, but I knew I had to because this trip was beyond me. Got to the train station in Santa Fe just in the nick of time. There it was, step one complete: get on that damned train and get to Los Angeles. As I sat on that train ride, I knew anything could change over the course of the next week or so. When I leave this country, its always with an open mind, knowing I could make the choice to stay somewhere over seas, or something could happen. I try not to think conclusively or with any sense of permanence.
I think my creator knew I needed a trip like this. I sat there and I cried knowing so much was going to change even when or if I got back to the states. I had to move out of my place on Dec 1, which was just a few days after I was scheduled to be back in America. I knew I wanted new, but I also knew the difficulties with detaching from the old, the comfortable. For once, I was reasonably comfortable in my home, in my town, in my standing in life at that time. But something was missing, and I had realized something will always be missing, no matter where I am or where I go, because something needed to be missing in order for me to search. Without that search, I would have no purpose, no passion.
There I was, finally, on my Dutch Royal Airlines flight, from LA to Amsterdam. Oh how I wished I could get out and play when I was in Amsterdam, but I accepted that there would be another point in time and space set aside for that. From there, to New Delhi. My drive from Durango, Colorado to Santa Fe was about 4 hours. The train ride from Santa Fe to LA was about 16 hours. The flight from LA to Amsterdam, about 9 hours, and then finally from Amsterdam to Delhi, another 10 hours. I finally got through immigration and customs and got my visa stamped and approved.
"Where are you, are you here yet?" I seen my phone screen light up with a whatsapp message from my awesome friend Manu from Spain. We were scheduled to arrive around the same time at the airport and was instructed to wait and some colleagues of my friend from India would be picking us up together at the airport. "I am nearing an exit I think, where are you?". Before I received a response, I walked toward the exit and saw him standing at my left. Un abrazo grandisimo for my Spanish friend. He was actually a big reason why I found myself in India, if not the biggest....
When I was teaching English in the Madrid area in 2014, my friend Manu was in a masters program at Carlos III. He would take me around his friends and classmates and plug me into that social pipeline. From there, I was able to meet my amazing friend Shank, whom sent for me to be at his wedding in India. It is where I met so many amazing people who have stayed a big part of my life. I made good friends with Shank and another amazing friend from Ukraine, Artem. We 3 traveled to Brugge and Brussels Belgium together, during another amazing trip. We had all gotten together every weekend after their classes to play holdem, and to have a few beverages, and then club it up and enjoy Madrid and the nightlife. We had all become very close.
Manu and I had met while I was attending college at the University of Malaga in Andalusia, Spain back in 2011. As the years passed, he and I stayed close and in contact. At some point, I made it a point to go to Spain at lease once a year. In 2014 while teaching English, I was blessed with family from Spain. I was blessed with the privilege to be in the home of the Solana Mencia's. That will be a whole other blog post I have yet to write about. It was during my time in this home that Manu and I would connect on the weekends and he would connect me to his classmates. I felt like part of the masters program, however, I was not.
So there is Manu and I at the Delhi airport, a place we had never been to before, looking for our friends colleagues that were supposed to be waiting for us. It was about 4 in the morning mind you, and we were scheduled to have been there about 2 hours earlier. At last, Dinesh, Shwam and Deepak identified us, and us them, and thus began the magical experience of India...
"Come! we have flowers for you! Welcome to India friends!" proclaimed the 3. They gave us both a huge bouquet of fresh roses and assorted flowers. They proceeded to take us to a few Indian local women who lei'd us with even more fresh flowers. Then they put the dot in between our eyes and we began to take photos. I felt like a star! Never before had I been welcomed in this manner anywhere. The only other time I had felt this euphoria when coming into a new place and situation, was when the father of my home in Spain greeted me in Madrid airport. It was then that I felt like this could really be a trip to remember, what an introduction!
So there we were, laughing, smiling, taking photos all together and caught in an unforgettable moment of peace, joy and euphoria. I recall the smell in the air, like the whole city had been smoking sheesha and hookah outside. It was smoky and I couldn't believe how alive the place was at 4am! horns going off in the streets, people, yelling, screaming, dancing, hugging. There I was right in the middle of it all with my friend from Spain and 3 new awesome people from Delhi tasked with guiding my journey while there.
We got in our cab and the 5 of us set out to go from one end of Delhi to the other. We were getting to know one another, and the laughter and joy continued endlessly from all 3 of us interacting and bonding. We get to this hotel, and it is huge and really nice. We get escorted to our room, as Manu and I had a shared room for our time there, by our newly made friends; Dinesh, Shwam and Deepak. I couldn't believe the grandeur of the room. It was a 5 star hotel all paid for already, with an amazing view of northeast Delhi. After the 35+ hours of traveling from one side of the earth to the other, I was ready to sleep, and so Manu and I got some shut eye for the night, not knowing exactly the magical moments we would be in for for the upcoming week.
I waited until I got to India to select an outfit for the wedding. 1 reason I did this was because just about every single one of my pieces of clothing was dirty, as I had no time to do laundry prior to taking off. The other being I wanted to find something traditional in India, possibly, which I had no idea what that entailed. I relayed this to Shwam and Deepak, and off we went to a market in New Delhi with Manu and an awesome french businessman who we had met who was part of the party. It was quite an adventure.
I looked to the side of my cab, and about 2 inches from the car was a tuk tuk, an infamous Indian "taxi", honking. To the left, was a horse. This was on what appeared to be a major road, what would be equal to a freeway in the US. Here, you can find horses, cattle, cows, tractors, cars, tuk tuks, and teams of humans carrying cargo. I would later find that if you are lucky, you can even run into elephants on this freeway like road system. I can't tell you how many times I thought we were going to be in some sort of accident, or at least witness one. You would have to spend time on these roads to truly understand what I mean.
We get to the market and this is where I realize what exactly the term, "population density" truly means. It is DENSE with people all over the place, shoulder to shoulder, with, you guessed it, cars honking and trying to navigate through the crowds. Manu, Deepak and I took off to some shops and I identified the type of dress I desired. It was in contrast to the typical western formal wear of suit and tie, and much more elaborate. The first ones I had come across were very expensive and certainly out of my price range. We found a different shop and some more reasonably priced traditional attire. There I was trying things on. I liked the style and asked what they had in red. Red is my color. In the movie "Gladiator", there is a quote where one of the men tell the Spaniard that red is a color favored by the gods. This quote only validated my love of the color, as red was attached to me since I was a child.
"I'll take it!" I proclaimed to the shop owner. It was a red Indian male dress with gold flowery accents and I also got a gold like scarf to go with it and some gold pointed shoes. I must admit, I looked pretty legit for being a westerner. When I wore it during the wedding day, I would come to find many of the others and locals would agree. I was super happy. Off we went with our french buddy Stephan to help him find some attire as well. After being unsuccessful in that quest, we got back into the cab to begin another adventure on the streets back to the hotel for an event that evening at an undisclosed location. I have to say just a drive in the city is an adventure in and of itself.
Later that evening, we get to a super nice elegant place and come to find a bar and a stage with a beautiful electronic scene in the background and Indian music playing. I felt a tad out of place, because everyone was dressed very formally whereas I had a black striped polo ralph lauren on with jeans. No one noticed and it didnt matter because people were here for a cause beyond dress. This would be the first night that most of us got together with our friend the groom, and all the people from the wedding on his side. It is where I had the honor of meeting my friends wonderful father and reuniting with the old friends from that masters program in Madrid from all over.
I sat to the side and observed with an admiration I couldn't describe as people from every corner of the earth came together. There was people from India, Ukraine, China, France, Russia, Argentina, Germany, Spain, England, and I, the lone American. It didn't matter where any of us were from, what mattered was where we were, and why we were there. I wish the world could take a look at that get together from us all and learn that it doesn't matter which invisible line we were born in. All that matters is the love, peace, light and connections that we are all here to make.
There we all were having the time of our lives with each other and our friend who would be getting married soon. We seen traditional Indian dancers on stage, an amazing experience for me. We got involved in the dancing. Anyone who knows me, knows I am no dancer. I never do it and when I asked, I find ways around it. Here I was though this night, dancing my ass off in the name of something far greater than I and my reluctance to dance. It turned out to be one of the best nights of my life. Yet it was only the first night, and the first event...
The next night was more traditional. There was no bar, no alcohol, only people, celebrating, laughter, and dancing. It was an overall happiness that I don't know I had been exposed to before. We had hot chai tea, I think it was, and traditional Indian food galore. I remember seeing the beautiful elaborate Henna art that was being done to some of the girls in our group. I had only heard of the art before and never actually seen it. Then someone convinced me and a buddy to get some done on our hand, which we did. It was beautiful, but I believe traditional only for women haha.
I remember sitting and speaking with my newly made friend from England about some of our escapades internationally. Next thing I knew, what appeared to be an angel in orange grabbed my hand and said come dance. I was reluctant and she ultimately left without me, and then another came and I couldnt say no this time, she had a microphone. Here I go out to this dancefloor with friends and amazing people I had never met. We danced, and smiled and laughed. And danced, and smiled and laughed. I remember sweating and becoming self conscious. Then I let everything go and danced until my feet hurt and my face hurt from all the smiling and laughing.
We woke the next day and went on an adventure with one of our friends who was also from India. I believe she and her family owned a factory that made sweets and sold them to local shops. We went to that factory and got to see how it was all made. I remember the delight it brought the workers to bring us the fruits of their labor to have us try. We must have tried 20 different treats, and each time the faces of the workers lit up after an anxious wait. I looked around and made eye contact with some of them, and seen the depths of their joy and happiness and purity. I became delighted and engulfed in the moment. We all then went to grab a bite at what I think was either our friends shop, or one of the shops that brought her products. We all were together, trying new food, sharing, laughing, smiling, bonding. It was so magical for me, as moments like this seem so few and far in between in my life.
One of the greatest joys I experienced in my life was riding in a tuk tuk. They are 3 wheel small Indian motor vehicles with a small cab with room for 1 driver in the front and a max of perhaps 3 people in the back. I came to find that the drivers at times were what separated them from anything else in the world that I had ever gotten a ride from. Riding in one is an adventure, like a carnival ride almost. Here you are riding in the worlds craziest streets in this small enclosed motorized vehicle, honking every 3 seconds, with someone driving who might have the greatest personality or stories you may have ever came across. I was scared shitless the first one I took. You couldn't get me out of one by the time I left.
I remember my friend and I had a disagreement about hanging out in the middle of the city taking advice from locals. 2 locals were giving myself and 2 other friends directions to somewhere to find tailored suits. One of my friends just wanted to leave, even if it meant leaving our other 2 friends alone to adventure on their own. I didn't understand at the time, and admittedly became a little agitated. I didn't want to split from our other friends, and I didn't understand his reason for discomfort in the area and situation. Ultimately, we did leave, in a tuk tuk, to meet other friends at a site called Qutub Minar I believe.
On that ride, I remember explaining that I enjoy traveling alone because I don't need to compromise, or wait, or put no one else but myself in danger. A lot of places I have traveled to, I have done alone. I really do enjoy doing so because I don't have to wait on anyone, I don't have to be so calculated or comfortable, I can go out on random adventures and go explore without limitations that aren't self imposed. I explained this to him and I also explained what I thought he was feeling from my point of view. We came to a mutual understanding and reached our destination and waited to meet up with other friends there. I remember telling him that when we and our group of friends was done doing the site seeing of this site, that I would likely take off alone back to the city to explore on my own. I know he wanted to go and was very worried about me being alone in a city none of us had been to before, but my worry was not getting that alone time that I needed in order to really get lost and explore and find adventure.
"We are Spanish! We come from a long history of explorers, and navigators and conquerors! It is in our blood!" I proclaimed. I take much pride in my partly Spanish identity, as that is my ancestry. Here we were, with a great chance to be just that, explorers, navigators, fearless in the eyes of the unknown and possible danger. But I don't think we both seen it that way. I told him that we can not stop fate, if something is bad to happen, there will be little, if anything at all, that we can do about it. All the while, he just wanted us to be together so that we could be safe and comfortable. The image of who I am today, however, was forged in the unknown, the uncomfortable, the unplanned. By the end of the day, I understood his stance on not putting ourselves in shady situations in an unknown world. And I think he understood that in order for my heart to truly beat, I needed to be in those situations at some point or another.
To conclude the final night prior to the wedding, we all were to go to a club downtown and enjoyed a night all together. Prior to this, I had ventured off on my own away from the group and took a tuk tuk to downtown New Delhi. I remember I had wanted to find souvenirs. I wanted statues of the gods, as I had gotten in Athens Greece in one of my trips over the summer. I remember being a child wanting to collect wrestler toys, and now as a man, I would collect statues of gods wherever I went.
I wound up in a market and then ultimately stopped at some bar and had a beer and a bite to eat while watching and trying to comprehend the game of cricket. I met with a friend from Ukraine at the central park in the city and from there we found a place to have more beers and a few more appetizers, and then aboard a tuk tuk we went, to try and make it to the Akshardaam, the largest Hindu temple in the world. It closed at 630 and we showed up at 640. So we were unable to get in, so we decided to take the metro back to the hotel before heading downtown.
This was the last night before the wedding. We drank, we danced, we laughed, we smiled, we bonded, which had become a very common theme for every night here together for us all. Some could have been used to it, I was not, but was embracing of it and grateful. I remember my friends and I standing outside waiting on a cab and conversing. A little child came up to me and tugged at my coat with hands open. I gave her some rupees. Then another, a young boy came and did the same, and I gave him some rupees. I was trying to talk to friends and the same kids kept doing that. To the little girl, I gave the gold watch that I had on. It wasn't real or anything, but my thought was perhaps she could sell it and get something for it. One of my buddies from India was like, "Nooo, don't do that!" and I was responded, but they are just children in need. It was a system though. I explained to them I had just given them both things, and to the one, a watch. She reached into her pocket pulled it out empty and shrugged her shoulders. From then on I didn't think much of it.
We headed to our hotel and laughed, joked and nearly cried on the way. I was still trying to get a massage, haha. Little did we know, the accumulation of all things and all reasons for being here would come to fruition the next day, on wedding day. I don't think many, if any of us, could have guessed the magic that the next day would bring....
