Un Milagro- A Miracle

This was a prayer I wrote when I was staying at my uncles place on the floor at End o Days motel. I was at a rock bottom point and felt there was no other way to go but up. I was definitely down on my luck and just about everything else and was sick and tired of the life I had been living. This was written on December 10, 2008. After I wrote it, a week or so later, I got a call from the dean of FLC congratulating me and letting me know I had been accepted. It was a miracle, literally. Since I have written this prayer, I have graduated college with a 3.14 gpa (way better than my high school gpa at graduation) with a bachelor of arts degree in business administration with the international business option. I went to school at the Universidad de Malaga in Malaga Andalucia Spain. I returned there recently last month after graduation for a month long vacation. I saw many parts of Europe and major cities like Madrid, Barcelona, Paris, Rome and even Morocco Africa. I have met so many amazing people in the time since this poem from my own town here in Durango and all across the globe. I like to think this prayer changed my life, and I authored it. Anyway, here it is:

My Prayer      

Dear lord, I know no other entity I love or fear more. 

i pay attention to no other words, I only hear yours. 

Give me strength to heard lamb and steer boars.

Thank you for everything, I feel your love pour. 

It is a hard world to live in, but you give me the strength to never give in. 

You gave me all I don't deserve, even though I keep sinning

Your love keeps the world spinning. I know one day, that will cease.

The world is finding it harder to keep the peace. We will all be divided like

2 sides of a paper with a crease. I know I am living my life because you granted me a lease.

I am grateful for the life you gave me. No matter how hard life gets, you'll be there to save me. 

I will walk any road you decide to pave me. I have no wordly wealth or value. Its a twisted place down here

Satan is trying to sell you. Pay close attention to what people tell you or get a free trip to hell too. 

But I aint going to be the one that fell to. To the world I'm dirt, and to you, I am gold. 

If I was that to the world, I would be sold. But i'm here, useful as slimy mold. The nights are cold.

Lucifers knights, just as bold, trying profusely to claim my soul. 

But too late, it belongs to the lord of lords. He protects me with the mightiest of swords. 

His angels play beautiful melodies on strings and chords. That makes me happy, not owning 

cadillacs and fords. 

When it rains, it pours, and i hear my god when he roars. Whether I wind up behind a desk, 

or forever cleaning floors, lord, I am grateful and forever yours. 

Amen

By: Brian L. Albo

December 10, 2008

How incredible to look back at this, and the time in my life I was at, and the time since. If you knew me before my college days, you would understand how dramatic of a change this was for me personally, spiritually and overall. I will have to write a new one soon, I used to really love to write poetry, and draw and all that, but I lost touch with time and work and school. Maybe this can serve as an inspiration to anyone down in the pits, and know that I was there, at the lowest of lows, and now I sit here at my highest of highs so far, and hope to continue the climb out of the depths to the top to see everything from a beautiful view...

3rd time will be the charm I guess

Well, it is with great regret that I have to return to the United States. It has been very difficult trying to find people to charge for private English lessons and I have not checked with any of the academies or universities around to see if they could pay for an extra hand. The crisis in Spain really limits the options because people and institutions don't have the extra funds available to pay for those services. My own personal financial situation has also gone to crap. I have 200 euro left to last me a week and a half until my flight leaves, and where I stay is 20 euro a night, so there goes that money.
I was hoping one of my "friends" would come through for a car I sold back. I paid around 5000 of the 6500 I owed for the car, and have only gotten 200 back. I was promised far more, which I was REALLY REALLY depending on for my trip out here so I could to the Camino and travel a little more. Its what I get I guess. I should have been smarter and stayed in the US and paid the thing off over the summer, and then sold it my dam self and used that money for the trip. But no I was in a hurry and impatient and just wanted to escape for a little while and also trusted that this dude would come through for me. After all we supposedly viewed eachother as "brothers" but brothers dont pull that shit, especially when you need them the most. The trip has been good, but will end far sooner than it should have because of this. I really would have liked to have stayed longer, but it is no longer financially possible for me. I was waiting on 1700 and got 200.
Although it wasn't the official Camino de Santiago, I feel like i have learned a lot of things about myself and the world around me in this trip. I am a learner, so I like to sit back and view things from an outside perspective at times rather than be in the middle of the fun. My wants and needs are now more clearly defined and I feel like this second time around in Spain, I know what I want in life and what I need to do. I really really wish that money would have came through, it is such a huge let down to me. I haven't been  let down like that since I trusted somebody with my heart and they flushed it down the toilet. Its life though I guess, the world in which we live today. I can't let it defeat me, or make me angry or whatever. I have to keep on.
I feel like if I had the chance to do the Camino, it would have been a personal and spiritual experience like none other. I am reading a book called walk in a relaxed manner, about the Camino, and every chapter I read makes me want to do it more and more. At times, I just want to start from here in Malaga and connect to the Mozarabe route with the little money I might have and see where it lands me, but I know that I can not entrust my life to the wild like that, and I would surely die eventually. The other night, I truly contemplated this. I could give my life to god, while passing in Spain, which is ultimately where I want to. I need to be smart and patient because I will eventually do it the next time I come. This surely is not the last Spain has seen of me, if I can make it back for a second time, surely I can for a 3rd, and that time will be the charm. I will not come as unprepared as I did this time, and I will not come here to reward myself for a college graduation dream realized and also running away from my love lifes terrible ending. It was a great experience for me and I learned a lot. I have no cell phone that functions, it is really only me out here and the new friends I make, but about 90% of the time, Im just alone out in this little world of mine and it leaves a lot of time to think and plan.
All I know is i need to get back home and get my butt to work. Its why I got a degree in international business. Although I do enjoy the relaxed Spanish lifestyle, I have a constant drive to accomplish something every day, every week every month. Although the things I have learned can be somewhat considered small victories, there is not much of a measure of them. I need to now get a good job, one in which i can utilize my degree and experience abroad. That will be the next accomplishment, and from there, the first pay check, and from there the promotion etc. As an American, I am always striving for more and more. If my life were a line graph, at the beginning it would start in the negative quadrants, go up and down like the stock market but more down than up through my adolescent years, and the last 5 or 6 years would be a steady upward trend. Right now I feel like Ive hit a plateau, even though it has only been 2 weeks since I graduated. I really need to grasp that concept and enjoy the time that I do have free. Its just the money situation really kind of ruined this trip. I used the 1000 I had for graduation and its nearly all gone, and I had to borrow money to pay for a plane ticket back, so now Im really in the hole.
Anyhow, I am very sorry, I wish you knew how bad I would have liked to have completed the journey as planned, but as life usually does, some curve balls have been thrown here and there that I was unable to knock out of the park, and I struck out this inning. I will never take a trip like this again without proper planning, proper funding (money in my hands, not money someone says they will get me eventually), and more people available to help me. I have great friends from here in Malaga who are abroad in other parts of Europe who have tried to help me, but can only do so much not being here.
This trip has been amazing, and I still have a week and a half left, so maybe the lord will work something out for me. But regardless, thy will be done, and whatever his will is, I will be happy with. He has blessed me with a life I never knew I could have. My faith and trust in him have gotten me across the ocean and back, and considering what and who I come from, that is a feat in itself. I dont come from  a rich, educated family, by no stretch of the imagination. I also am not rich, but I was blessed with a good education, because I wanted it bad enough and have always been eager to learn. I have used the resources available to me to the best of my advantage while learning all I can along the way and to me, that is the trick of life. I am only 25, soon to be 26 in July, so I am still relatively young and unlimited possibilities still exist in this world. If I continue to learn, grow and have faith in myself and god, great things will continue to happen. St. James the greater, the apostle and patron saint of Spain, I apologize I was unable to do the route to go see you and the your cathedral in Santiago de Compostela, but I make a promise today, that when I really truly can financially, I will make it happen. And I know that our creator will eventually make the means for that to happen possible.

Destino

I have been in Malaga, Spain for nearly a week come Wednesday. It seems almost as I never left from when I went to school here in 2011. I jumped right back into things, no culture shock, no being lost or anything. the only difference this time around is all my friends from my study abroad group are not here, and all the Spanish friends I had made are all gone to pursue opportunities in other parts of Europe. My return could not have started any better as I was able to take a boat ride on the mediterranean sea, first thing. It was nice to get out on the sea and relax and have a few cruz campos. i also got to take a picture with the captain and use a captains hat, something I had always wanted to do coming from the mountains of colorado. Later that night, a friend I met online, offered to meet at the beach for some sangria. It was amazing meeting for the first time in person and engaging in conversation about culture, and politics, and education, and future and things of that nature. I try to learn everywhere I go, and through everyone I meet, and I did so with her. I am blessed to have met her and made a friend in another part of the world and hope to one day visit in the country of Latvia.
The days have already begun to blur together. But I do remember turning into a beach bum and re acclimating to all the beautiful sights the city has to offer. I visited the old roman ruins beneath the alcazaba, an old moorish castle, and gathered my thoughts for a little and peered into the past. The hostel I was staying at seemed quite chaotic, but fun for those who prefer that lifestyle. I was hardly there, as I had already knew what I wanted to do and see. I know one of the nights I became a little agitated because I woke up to the sound of a few people having sex a few feet away from me and not really trying to be quiet or nothing. So I threw on my headphones and fell asleep. I repeatedly tried to get to my host moms place when she was there and missed her a few times but did make it eventually and it was so amazing to meet with her again. She was very pleasantly surprised. I was roughly 200 pounds last time I was here and now I hover around 170. I distinctly remember her remembering me as a little bit "gordito" last time I was here. I had a drink with her and her 2 grandkids a night later and i remember her getting on one of them about eating chips or anything, because he was already a little gordito according to her. It bothers her when her kids, grandkids are unhealthy because she wants them to be active and "deportivos". I totally understand, and can attest as to why. life for me was quite different when I was bigger. I definitely noticed the difference when I made my return to the top of the Gibralfaro, an old moorish castle that sits atop the city overlooking the sea and city. It was honestly quite a challenge for me and I remember sweating so much and breathing so hard when my friends and I would go to the top, which we did nearly every night before we left last time. This time now that I did it, it was a piece of cake. You have to really climb, literally, to the top because the path is very windy and steep and you literally walk at an angle going up or coming down. It is well worth it when you get to the top. This is what you are rewarded with when you get up there, not hard to be a photographer here:

Another thing I did when I got to the top was go inside of the castle, for a couple euro. It was quite amazing. They had a little replica model of the castle, and the alcazaba on the hill as well as military uniforms of the Spanish as they changed throughout time. Having some spanish ancestry, from before the conquistadors came, it was a cool experience for me. I then walked all around the castle on the inside and along the edges. I can see why the moors built this place, its breath taking. I thought about all the people when it was flourishing who used to be here and raise families and have gatherings and what not. It was probably such a grand place back then. Superior location also because you could see anyone coming from very far away, on the ocean or down below. I can see why they built the path up there the way they did; if an enemy army was coming from the bottom trying to march up, all youd have to do is roll a giant boulder down and wipe em out. I saw what appeared to be archers posts and things of that nature in different corners.
I also found a gem on top of the AC hotel here. There was some flamenco/modeling thing going on down below when I went. It provided another amazing view of the city and the sea from up top and you can also enjoy the restaurant at the top and have a beer or wine or what have you. Its now one of my favorite spots. Sunday marked my last day in the hostel, because I only wanted to stay 5 days and see what other option were available after that. God works in mysterious ways, because as I was talking with my host mom, she said she was only going to have one student for the month at her house, and if I wanted to stay with her, I could and she would cook and do laundry and all that, like old times. Another way of god proving to me he exists, because the chances of the timing of that to be so perfect are impossible to comprehend. Her 2 students that were here left sunday, the last day I was in my hostel. She said she would do it for 20 euro a day, which is expensive for me, but I wanted to help her because she would only have 1 student for the month, and she could help me also save money for not eating in the streets while providing with an unmatched comfort level no one else here could. She is an angel, and to me is family. This solidifies that, and she considers me family also. Its amazing. I am so blessed. On saturday, I saw a poster for a bullfight in Marbella on Sunday. I HAD to go, its been a dream to watch a bullfight and was unable to last time because the season was long over. I had already knew how to get a bus to some of the other coastal towns along Andalucias coast. So Sunday, I packed all my stuff at the hostel, left my discoteca shoes because they would not fit, and because I had to buy another pair of walking shoes anyway. They left my feet with blisters and because I walk everywhere, were quite uncomfortable. I used them Saturday to get into a club I wanted to always go in but was denied last time because of my sneakers, and did so, so I just left them. One of the nights, I decided to buy some sangria and head to the beach rather than go back to my hostel or downtown, since I had some wine glasses a great friend generously donated me a few nights before. I was going to sit there are reflect and appreciate where I was in life, and I was approached by a gentleman. He simply asked for a lighter, and I had bought some cuban cigaritos I fell in love with last time I was here and had one. That turned into a couple hour conversation about educational systems, music, culture, traveling, learning and just a dam good conversation to have with anyone. He was a student from Germany who was kind of just out here floating around Andalucia, as was I. Just another one of those weird coincidences and instances where you meet great people through either a higher power, or the energy of the universe or what have you. I felt like I had made a friend in that short time, and asked me if I had been to Morocco before. I had been to fes the last time i was here with 2 friends and it was an enlightening experience to say the least. He had never been but really wanted to go and hoped to find someone to go with. I currently dont have the funds to do so, but if something becomes available, I would love to go back to Morocco a 2nd time. Again, it was someone I learned some things from simply from conversation. You can never learn too much, the brain is a sponge, and should always embrace education on any level. As a sponge gains water, it expands, so too does the brain. And then you spend a week keeping up with the kardashians while having dominos or mickey ds and all that water is squeezed out and released and it dries up. Not my desire. It is as essential to constantly exercise the brain, as it is the body. They are both one, part of the same system. I probably exerciser my brain a little more than my body, but hopefully that is starting to change, well it is with all the walking I do, but will begin running tomorrow if my legs feel better.
Sunday marked dia de la madre here in Spain. As soon as I left, there was a festival going on in the plaza nearby and flamenco guitars playing with dancers, it was amazing. I really truly enjoy experiencing culture in all of its facets and it was another opportunity. However, it was already around noon and I knew I still had to get to my host moms to drop stuff off, wish her a happy day, and get to Marbella by 5ish. I got to her house and gave her a rosary I had brought with me that I bought at the notre dame cathedral from my travels in paris. She was very happy. So I then proceeded to the bus station and got to Marbella about 3. I had no idea where exactly I was but i looked at a map briefly and knew the town wasnt too terribly big. So from the bus station, I could see the sea and walked toward it and wound up at a beautiful beach area. I hung out at the beach for about an hour or so and then took a taxi to the bullring and got there with an hour to spare.
The bullfight was an experience of a lifetime. With my spanish ancestry, I had always always wanted to see one. It definitely didn't disappoint. Being an american, I certainly have a heart for all animals and beings in the world, so the part where the bull is killed was a little rough, but when you realize that it is culture and precedes you, you live. I saw 4 bulls go down, but the grace with which the bullfighters played with them was special. a huge 1000 pound animal with horns charging at these men and they just step to the side with their capes and just dance with them and play with them. One bull was certainly hard to watch die, because of the amount of blood that began spewing from his mouth and nose, but I did. I know its banned in the Catalonia region of Spain, and I dont think they can kill them in the Basque country, but I can see why. It definitely isnt a sport for the faint at heart. I did it though, I got to see a bullfight for once, and it represented another dream turned reality. Ill never forget that experience as long as I live. After that, I thought I was cool and smart enough to just walk to the bus station from the bullring, allthough I had never been in this city before. Boy was I wrong. I wound up god knows where and almost walked out of marbella. So I had to turn around and only had an hour and a half to make it back to the station or id miss a bus i already paid for. I panicked a little but made it back to an area i was familiar with from earlier in the day near the beach and caught a taxi and made it just in time.
So today was a day where I wanted to chill out and not spend money that I really dont have and do something productive. I spent money to get an adaptor to use my laptop, so that I could get my resume finalized and begin looking for work in the US and perhaps here on craigslist and at my old college back home. I have also been collaborating with one of my spanish friends who is currently in denmark to network and meet more people, as well as figure out ways to market myself and help people with test preparations in english. I will work more on that tomorrow. I also got my linkedin profile updated and my resume should be done by tomorrow so I can start sending it out. We will see what god has in store. I am also waiting on some money from family back home and a friend so hopefully I can do the camino in a few weeks. I am not so sure that I will be able to do it financially at this point, because it largely depends on the funding I get from back home. But already, this has been a Camino in itself. My camino began the morning I graduated college I realize. God will understand if i cant do it this time around but also knows that I will make it happen another time because the world we live in requires money to do everything. I have ran into several unexpected expenses, but god willing family and friends will come through and I can atleast do it from Sarria while I am here. Or I will find a job helping with English or something that will allow to stay and save money for it. As i was reading a book called walk in a relaxed manner the other day on the beach, I had some epiphanies. The night before I had gotten pretty sad, realizing I was on the other side of the world by myself, and wanted more than i had in life, like a wife and kids. I became a little depressed, but when I read the chapter I was on, that all went away. The chapter was about cherishing the here and now, the present. We get so caught up in the future or the past, we fail to really appreciate what we have now, and thats what the chapter was all about. It made me look at everything differently. So I will appreciate what I have now and do what I can now, rather than think too much about the future or past and what I dont have. Because what I do have, is a good head on my shoulders, Im healthy as Ive been since high school, and my ambition mixed with my faith in god and the little angels he sends my way to help will get me by, it always has. I have never really had to worry when I look back on things. I am not rich by no means financially, nor is my family. We are quite poor actually. But I am rich in other aspects of life, and am getting richer with experience out here in the world on my own. Tomorrow I will get back to work in trying to make things happen, and likely take a break at the beach as I just rested at home today. My calfs are sore and swollen from all the walking all over I have been doing so I wanted to just take it easy today and use my computer to get some things done and I did. I also took about a 5 hour long siesta after I had some of my host moms pasta that I loved so much from the last time. Bueno, thank you for reading this. I was going to say, no matter who you are, you can add me on facebook so that you can see all the pictures and videos I have been taking. It is a nice visual representation of my journey so far. It is hard maintaining this blog, a facebook, an instagram, a linkedin account and a couple emails. So I likely wont post blogs as much, perhaps once a week or so but we can certainly be friends on facebook and you can see all the pics videos and albums. You are more than welcome to, stranger or whatever. My name is Brian albo Bettini on facebook, dont be afraid! I broke the 700 mark for people that have read my blog, which is extraordinary because when I reopened it recently after a year of inactivity, it was at around 200 i think. So thank you, your readership is greatly appreciated, and I hope to return the favor with more travels and journeys for your enjoyment and perhaps enlightenment. God will guide me wherever I go as he always has, and he will for you too if you believe in him, in yourself, and the goodness of the world. Buen Camino to you all, and until next time, take care.

the captain, and another sailor. Buen Camino!